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Joke Page.

Three Leprechauns, Mick, Eugene and Pat, are sitting in the pub getting quietly pi*sed when Mick shouts out, " Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll take meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself entered in de book".

"What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit. You've dun nuttin' to get in de book for" says Eugene.

"Well, it's me hands, Eugene" replies Mick waving them around, "I tink dey are de smallest in de world and I'm going to get meself entered into de book and I'll be world famous."

Both Eugene and Pat agree that they are quite small and they all carry on drinking quite heartily.

A little while later Pat pipes up " Ya know Mick, if ye can get into de Guiness book of records for yer small hands, so can I." The other two smirk at each other and Mick says "How can ye have de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool."

Pat replies "It's not me hands Mick, it's me feet", and he takes off his boots to show them. " I tink dat dey are de smallest feet in de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de Guiness Book of records too."

The other two agree that they are quite small and with that they all go back to their drinking.

Some time later Eugene chimes in, "Well, if youse two can get into de Guiness Book of records, I can too."

The others fall about laughing. "What de feck have you got dats so feckin' interesting?" cries Mick.

"It's me dick, Mick " he says and pulls down his breeches to show them. They both howl with laughter as Eugene pulls out his little dick.

"Jaysus, ye've got the best chance of us all, Eugene", says Pat "Dat's de smallest feckin' dick I ever saw" and with that they all go back to their drinking.

Later on, full to the gills, they are heading home when out of the corner of his eye Mick spots the Guinness Book of records office further down the street.

"Jaysus", he says "I'm gonna go into dat office and I'm gonna get me hands measured" and off he staggers.

Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face waving his hands in the air. "I did it, I did it" he says "I'm in de Guinness Book of records for de smallest hands in de world. Nobody's got smaller hands dan me" and with that he pushes Pat forward. "Go on ye eejit. See if ye have de smallest feet in de world. Go on"

"Feck it. I will " says Pat and off he staggers. Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face, kicking his feet in the air. "Jaysus, I'm famous." he says. "I've got de smallest feet in de world, I'm famous, I'm famous " he yells.

With that Eugene staggers to the office door. "I'm gonna get me dick measured" he says, "I won't be long"

The other two are waiting anxiously for Eugene to return, but time slips by. Ten minutes turns into twenty and twenty into thirty. Still no sign of Eugene. One hour later the office door swings open and Eugene slouches looking disconsulate.

"What's wrong ?" asks Pat, to which Eugene replies

"Who the feckin' hell is Richard Van Lente???


	Joke Page. Three Leprechauns, Mick, Eugene and Pat, are sitting in the pub getting quietly pi*sed when Mick shouts out, " Jaysus, I'm bored wid bein' a feckin' nobody. I'm tinkin' I'll take meself down to de Guinness Book of Records office and get meself entered in de book". "What de hell are ye talkin' about, ye eejit. You've dun nuttin' to get in de book for" says Eugene. "Well, it's me hands, Eugene" replies Mick waving them around, "I tink dey are de smallest in de world and I'm going to get meself entered into de book and I'll be world famous." Both Eugene and Pat agree that they are quite small and they all carry on drinking quite heartily. A little while later Pat pipes up " Ya know Mick, if ye can get into de Guiness book of records for yer small hands, so can I." The other two smirk at each other and Mick says "How can ye have de smallest hands in the world if I've got dem, ya bloody fool." Pat replies "It's not me hands Mick, it's me feet", and he takes off his boots to show them. " I tink dat dey are de smallest feet in de world and I'm gonna get meself entered into de Guiness Book of records too." The other two agree that they are quite small and with that they all go back to their drinking. Some time later Eugene chimes in, "Well, if youse two can get into de Guiness Book of records, I can too." The others fall about laughing. "What de feck have you got dats so feckin' interesting?" cries Mick. "It's me dick, Mick " he says and pulls down his breeches to show them. They both howl with laughter as Eugene pulls out his little dick. "Jaysus, ye've got the best chance of us all, Eugene", says Pat "Dat's de smallest feckin' dick I ever saw" and with that they all go back to their drinking. Later on, full to the gills, they are heading home when out of the corner of his eye Mick spots the Guinness Book of records office further down the street. "Jaysus", he says "I'm gonna go into dat office and I'm gonna get me hands measured" and off he staggers. Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face waving his hands in the air. "I did it, I did it" he says "I'm in de Guinness Book of records for de smallest hands in de world. Nobody's got smaller hands dan me" and with that he pushes Pat forward. "Go on ye eejit. See if ye have de smallest feet in de world. Go on" "Feck it. I will " says Pat and off he staggers. Ten minutes later he comes out with a big smile on his face, kicking his feet in the air. "Jaysus, I'm famous." he says. "I've got de smallest feet in de world, I'm famous, I'm famous " he yells. With that Eugene staggers to the office door. "I'm gonna get me dick measured" he says, "I won't be long" The other two are waiting anxiously for Eugene to return, but time slips by. Ten minutes turns into twenty and twenty into thirty. Still no sign of Eugene. One hour later the office door swings open and Eugene slouches looking disconsulate. "What's wrong ?" asks Pat, to which Eugene replies "Who the feckin' hell is Richard Van Lente???