Return-Path: Delivered-To: eircom.net-2novavision@eircom.net X-Envelope-To: 2novavision@eircom.net Received: (vpopmail 33335 invoked by uid 16); 07 Feb 2003 14:07:32 +0000 Received: (qmail 33317 messnum 3731648 invoked by uid 16); 7 Feb 2003 14:07:32 -0000 Delivered-To: novavision.com-scoffey@novavision.com Received: (vpopmail 33311 invoked by uid 16); 07 Feb 2003 14:07:32 +0000 Received: (qmail 33241 messnum 3730673 invoked from network[159.134.56.168/p56-168.as1.sla.galway.eircom.net]); 7 Feb 2003 14:07:30 -0000 Received: from p56-168.as1.sla.galway.eircom.net (HELO shane) (159.134.56.168) by mail03.svc.cra.dublin.eircom.net (qp 33241) with SMTP; 7 Feb 2003 14:07:30 -0000 Message-ID: <000b01c2ceb2$ddfde620$0400000a@novavision.com> From: "Shane Mc Ginley" To: "Fiona Clarke" , "Sean Coffey \(Work\)" , "Dryden Geary" Subject: Not bad Date: Fri, 7 Feb 2003 14:11:53 -0000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Status: U X-UIDL: 1044626852.33335.mail03.svc.cra.dublin.eircom.net,S=9268 Content-Type: multipart/related; type="multipart/alternative"; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0007_01C2CEB2.DD560D60" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0007_01C2CEB2.DD560D60 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_001_0008_01C2CEB2.DD560D60" ------=_NextPart_001_0008_01C2CEB2.DD560D60 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable How true!!!! Enjoy folks!! =20 How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer Scooter. The Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in the following fashion:- The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Beer Scooter. The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large = portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second question after a night out 'How did I spend so much money?' Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking = Injuries). An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for. This answers a third question after a night out 'What the hell happened?' With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal = of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's = REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost time is = regained in discussions over a period of time. Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending the passenger to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences. With recent = models including a GPS, Bacchus made an investment in a scooter drive-thru chain specializing in half eaten kebabs and pizza crusts. Another = question answered!! For the family man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe = up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your other half. Special = anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins. The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 Marlboro Lights in a single night. PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a T-shirt Regards, =20 Shane Mc Ginley eBusiness Developer Novavision Ltd Furbo Co. Galway Tel: ++353 91 591727 Mob: ++353 87 6189099 Fax: ++353 91 591879 =20 email: smcginley@novavision.com www: http://www.novavision.com ------=_NextPart_001_0008_01C2CEB2.DD560D60 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
How true!!!! Enjoy folks!! 

How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard=20 night
drinking and thought 'How on earth did I get home?' As hard as = you=20 try,
you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to=20 your
house. The answer to this puzzle is that you used a Beer = Scooter.
The=20 Beer Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to
the = drunk=20 by Bacchus the Roman god of wine. Bacchus has acquired a
large batch = of these=20 magical devices. The Beer Scooter works in=20 the
following
fashion:-

The passenger reaches a certain = level of=20 drunkenness and the "slurring
gland" begins to give off a pheromone. = Bacchus=20 or one of his many
sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends = down a=20 winged Beer
Scooter.

The scooter scoops up the passenger and = deposits=20 them in their bedroom
via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not = cheap to=20 run, so a large portion
of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as = payment. This answers the
second question after a night out 'How did = I spend=20 so much money?'
Unfortunately, Beer Scooters have a poor safety = record and=20 are thought
to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified = Drinking=20 Injuries).

An undocumented feature of the beer scooter is the = destruction=20 of time
segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional=20 Portals
dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted = for.
This=20 answers a third question after a night out 'What the = hell
happened?' =20 With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal = of
Embarrassing=20 Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, = in
descending
order,=20 those parts in time regretted most. Unfortunately one person's=20 REMIT
is
not necessarily the REMIT of another and quite often lost = time is=20 regained
in discussions over a period of time.

Independent = studies=20 have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the
scooter's = navigation system=20 to malfunction thus sending the passenger
to the wrong bedroom, often = with=20 horrific consequences. With recent models
including a GPS, Bacchus = made an=20 investment in a scooter drive-thru
chain specializing in half eaten = kebabs=20 and pizza crusts.  Another question
answered!!

For the = family=20 man, Beer Scooters come equipped with flowers picked
from other = people's=20 garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These
boots are = designed in=20 such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up
the stairs, you = are sure=20 to wake up your other half. Special anti-gravity
springs ensure that = you bump=20 into every wall in the house and the CTSGS
(Coffee Table Seeking = Guidance=20 System) explains the bruised shins.

The final add-on Bacchus saw = fit to=20 invest in for some scooters is the
TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). = This=20 explains how one person can
apparently get through 260 Marlboro = Lights in a=20 single night.

PS: Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows = you to=20 comfortably
get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing = just a=20 T-shirt
Regards,
 
Shane Mc = Ginley
eBusiness=20 Developer
Novavision Ltd
Furbo
Co. Galway
Tel: ++353 91=20 591727
Mob: ++353 87 6189099
Fax: ++353 91 591879
  =
email: smcginley@novavision.com
= www: http://www.novavision.com
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